February 19, 2009, 10:41 am
Do You Know Who Owns Trader Joe’s?
By STEPHEN J. DUBNER
Do you shop at Trader Joe’s?
From what I have seen, the world is divided into three sets of people.
1. Those who have never been to a Trader Joe’s, and perhaps have never heard of it.
2. Those who love Trader Joe’s more than they love their own families.
3. Those who love Trader Joe’s more than they love their own families and are incensed that there isn’t one nearby.
So, let me ask those of you who fall into categories 2 and 3: Who owns Trader Joe’s?
1. Some great California family full of surfers and gardeners.
2. A small band of communal farmers in Oregon.
3. A huge German discount-grocery chain best known in the U.S. for no-glamor stores often located in marginal neighborhoods.
Yeah, it’s No. 3. The company is called Aldi and, though I’d seen one or two of its stores in the past, I didn’t even know it was a grocery store. Then I read this very interesting Wall Street Journal piece about the company’s ambitious new plan for the U.S., which calls for 75 new stores this year. The article claims that Aldi is so good at selling cheap goods that WalMart couldn’t compete with it in Germany. How do they do it? Here’s one way:
Store-brand goods generally make up 22 percent of U.S. food sales in terms of unit volume, according to research by Nielsen Co., while in some European markets, they account for about 30 percent. At Aldi, 95 percent of the goods are the retailer’s own brands.
They are, in other words, not the obvious owner of a chain like Trader Joe’s — which, although it tries to be ruthlessly cheap, also has a very high style quotient and neighborhood grocery store vibe.
I thought of all this when I ran into a friend who used to work at a Trader Joe’s. I asked her if she knew who owned the chain. She said no, then thought about it, and suddenly remembered: “Oh yeah, some Germans!”
She knew this only because some Aldi executives came to look at her store a few times, and as she recalls it, her management asked all the employees to not speak to the Aldi executives. It was unclear why this was necessary.
Then she remembered something else: “The carts we used to wheel boxes up and down the aisles, we called them U-boats, because they were shaped like a U. We were told to definitely not call them U-boats whenever the Germans were visiting.”
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Divorce by Texting
India: Divorce by text messaging and e-mail on the rise among Muslim men
New Delhi, 13 Feb. (AKI/Asian Age) - A rights organisation based in India said that divorces through e-mail, text message (SMS) and telephone are on the rise among India's Muslim population.
A study on "Marriage and divorce amongst Muslim women in India", undertaken by Sahiba Hussain, reader, Centre for Dalit and Minorities, Jamia Milia Islamia, highlights that more and more men are divorcing via SMS and e-mail.
Where women do not have access to mobile phones or computers, men use landline phones to pronounce the divorce declaration. "From 15 divorces that we looked at in 2008, eight were pronounced via SMS, e-mail and over the phone," said Husssain.
"Five divorce declarations were given face to face but amongst these also, only in one case a witness present when the declaration was made," she said.
The phenomenon is taking place despite a decree by the All-India Muslim Women Personal Law Board’s which forbids men from divorcing by electronic means.
Most of the SMS’ and e-mails had husbands complaining along predictable lines. They did not find the wife "beautiful enough", "compatible enough" or of having brought "adequate dowry".
Dowry demands are on the rise and the minimum cash payment being made by the wife’s family to the bridegroom is 5,000 rupees or the equivalent of 80 euros.
Even those families which earn as little 10 rupees per day or 15 euro cents are expected to fork out a dowry.
"One woman was so confused after receiving the SMS that she sought clarification from the qazi, or Islamic judge who, on reading the pronouncement, said that it did amount to a divorce.
"The husband was working abroad when he sent it," Hussain said.
Over 30 women have been interviewed so far from Delhi and several other cities in Bihar including Darbanga, Madhubani, Munghyar and Gaya in Bihar.
The idea was to include feedback from women living in both urban and rural India. Only one woman received a registered notice. In 90 percent of the cases it was found that women had to wait, sometimes as long as 27 years, just to recover her 'meher' or dowry, with husbands giving assurance that the "meher would be given to the woman at an appropriate time".
With Islamic judges not being in a position to ensure bridegrooms pay the maintenance or support money, a majority of Muslim women seek maintenance through civil courts, the study concludes.
Women divorcees are among those with the lowest social status in Indian Muslim society.
The report cites the example of one such divorced woman who faces much social stigma while "until today, her younger two sisters have remained unmarried", said Hussain.
New Delhi, 13 Feb. (AKI/Asian Age) - A rights organisation based in India said that divorces through e-mail, text message (SMS) and telephone are on the rise among India's Muslim population.
A study on "Marriage and divorce amongst Muslim women in India", undertaken by Sahiba Hussain, reader, Centre for Dalit and Minorities, Jamia Milia Islamia, highlights that more and more men are divorcing via SMS and e-mail.
Where women do not have access to mobile phones or computers, men use landline phones to pronounce the divorce declaration. "From 15 divorces that we looked at in 2008, eight were pronounced via SMS, e-mail and over the phone," said Husssain.
"Five divorce declarations were given face to face but amongst these also, only in one case a witness present when the declaration was made," she said.
The phenomenon is taking place despite a decree by the All-India Muslim Women Personal Law Board’s which forbids men from divorcing by electronic means.
Most of the SMS’ and e-mails had husbands complaining along predictable lines. They did not find the wife "beautiful enough", "compatible enough" or of having brought "adequate dowry".
Dowry demands are on the rise and the minimum cash payment being made by the wife’s family to the bridegroom is 5,000 rupees or the equivalent of 80 euros.
Even those families which earn as little 10 rupees per day or 15 euro cents are expected to fork out a dowry.
"One woman was so confused after receiving the SMS that she sought clarification from the qazi, or Islamic judge who, on reading the pronouncement, said that it did amount to a divorce.
"The husband was working abroad when he sent it," Hussain said.
Over 30 women have been interviewed so far from Delhi and several other cities in Bihar including Darbanga, Madhubani, Munghyar and Gaya in Bihar.
The idea was to include feedback from women living in both urban and rural India. Only one woman received a registered notice. In 90 percent of the cases it was found that women had to wait, sometimes as long as 27 years, just to recover her 'meher' or dowry, with husbands giving assurance that the "meher would be given to the woman at an appropriate time".
With Islamic judges not being in a position to ensure bridegrooms pay the maintenance or support money, a majority of Muslim women seek maintenance through civil courts, the study concludes.
Women divorcees are among those with the lowest social status in Indian Muslim society.
The report cites the example of one such divorced woman who faces much social stigma while "until today, her younger two sisters have remained unmarried", said Hussain.
Increasing divorce rate alarms many in Saudi Arabia
Increasing divorce rate alarms many in Saudi Arabia
Some say men are unable to deal with modern women
By Donna Abu-Nasr
Associated Press
Published: Monday, Dec. 11, 2006 11:59 a.m. MST
JIDDAH, Saudi Arabia — Khulud Abdul-Aziz enrolled in a course on manners, fashion and cooking that prepares young women to be good wives because she does not want to end up another statistic in Saudi Arabia's rising divorce rate.
"I want to be qualified for marriage in every respect," said the 19-year-old university student who is getting married in a few months.
The increasing divorce rate has alarmed many here, but some argue Saudi men can be part of the problem, unable to deal with a female population that is more educated and assertive.
The course Abdul-Aziz takes at al-Shaqaiq Society in the western seaport of Jiddah is just one of the ways social organizations are trying to help curb the number of divorces, which has grown 20 percent in recent years, according to government estimates.
While courts and marriage officials register around 70,000 marriage contracts annually, they also process more than 13,000 official divorce papers, said the Planning Ministry, according to media reports.
Fahad al-Yahya, a psychiatrist who counsels married couples, estimates at least 30 percent of Saudi first marriages end in divorce. The rate is comparable to the United States where, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, 33 percent of first marriages are disrupted either by separation or divorce.
So alarming is the problem that Saudi newspapers often carry stories discussing the issue, citing examples of the trivial incidents that lead to some of the divorces.
For instance, newspapers reported that a man divorced his wife after he found out she'd owned a camera phone for two years. Another left her because she insisted on waiting for a flight at the airport that kept getting delayed instead of returning home — as the husband had suggested.
Experts say the rapid technological change the kingdom witnessed as a result of the 1970s oil boom is one of the major reasons for the rise in divorce rates.
Oil money rapidly turned desert expanses into slick urban centers and gave a boost to women's education, introduced only in the 1960s. But this quick jump into the 21st century has not been accompanied by a parallel adaptation in traditions, tribal customs and attitudes, such as views that wives should be meek and undemanding. Some men, experts say, don't know how to cope with educated women.
"The Saudi woman has joined the work force and has become more educated," said al-Yahya. "This has changed their image from the one that prevailed in the past."
Stringent rules segregating the sexes have remained in place despite the modern facade that has brought malls, satellite TV and the Internet into the kingdom.
Boys and girls are separated once they reach puberty and are often not prepared to live with a member of the opposite sex after they get married. Women, who must wear veils and black cloaks called abayas, are kept away from men who are not husbands, brothers or uncles.
Very rarely do couples go out before they get married, and some don't see their spouses until their wedding night.
Even after they get married, it is difficult for couples to go out together. For instance, a married couple cannot go out to dinner with other married couples because the wives would be in the presence of men who are not their husbands. At family gatherings, women and men sit in separate rooms.
The institution of marriage also has been rocked by the introduction of other forms of marriage, sometimes called weekend marriages, that have grown in popularity in Saudi Arabia after influential clergy issued edicts supporting them earlier this year. These marriages relieve men of financial responsibilities and other obligations, including having to reveal them to family or other wives. Islam allows men to have up to four wives.
The proponents of such marriages say they decrease the number of unwed Saudi women, but critics say such unions destroy the family structure and encourage men to take additional wives who are usually younger "ornaments" rather than older unmarried women.
"I wonder if the virtuous men issuing such edicts do not pause to ponder the effects of such righteous proclamations on our fragile society," wrote Tariq al-Maeena in Arab News recently.
Al-Yahya said one way to save marriages is to make divorces more difficult. In Islam, a man can dissolve a marriage just by telling his wife, "You are divorced." Women, meanwhile, must go to court to get their marriages dissolved and only under exceptional circumstances such as the husband's mental illness.
"If there were strict laws they would make men think twice before divorcing their wives," al-Yahya said.
At a recent al-Shaqaiq Society class, Abdul-Aziz and 17 other young women sat in leather chairs at a horseshoe-shaped table to hear a lecture on "Discovering the Treasures for a Happy Life." The society also offers similar courses for men.
"What do you want out of married life?" instructor Almass al-Hijn asked the group. "Is your goal to find someone to spoil you and take you out to restaurants or to find a man who will protect you and with whom you can build a family?"
One student, 19-year-old Sara Bawahhal who recently got engaged, said she just hopes the course gives her the tools she needs to be a good wife.
"Girls don't know what is expected of them in marriage," she said. "This course expands a girl's horizons so she can go into marriage with open eyes."
© 2009 Deseret News Publishing Company | All rights reserved
Some say men are unable to deal with modern women
By Donna Abu-Nasr
Associated Press
Published: Monday, Dec. 11, 2006 11:59 a.m. MST
JIDDAH, Saudi Arabia — Khulud Abdul-Aziz enrolled in a course on manners, fashion and cooking that prepares young women to be good wives because she does not want to end up another statistic in Saudi Arabia's rising divorce rate.
"I want to be qualified for marriage in every respect," said the 19-year-old university student who is getting married in a few months.
The increasing divorce rate has alarmed many here, but some argue Saudi men can be part of the problem, unable to deal with a female population that is more educated and assertive.
The course Abdul-Aziz takes at al-Shaqaiq Society in the western seaport of Jiddah is just one of the ways social organizations are trying to help curb the number of divorces, which has grown 20 percent in recent years, according to government estimates.
While courts and marriage officials register around 70,000 marriage contracts annually, they also process more than 13,000 official divorce papers, said the Planning Ministry, according to media reports.
Fahad al-Yahya, a psychiatrist who counsels married couples, estimates at least 30 percent of Saudi first marriages end in divorce. The rate is comparable to the United States where, according to the National Center for Health Statistics, 33 percent of first marriages are disrupted either by separation or divorce.
So alarming is the problem that Saudi newspapers often carry stories discussing the issue, citing examples of the trivial incidents that lead to some of the divorces.
For instance, newspapers reported that a man divorced his wife after he found out she'd owned a camera phone for two years. Another left her because she insisted on waiting for a flight at the airport that kept getting delayed instead of returning home — as the husband had suggested.
Experts say the rapid technological change the kingdom witnessed as a result of the 1970s oil boom is one of the major reasons for the rise in divorce rates.
Oil money rapidly turned desert expanses into slick urban centers and gave a boost to women's education, introduced only in the 1960s. But this quick jump into the 21st century has not been accompanied by a parallel adaptation in traditions, tribal customs and attitudes, such as views that wives should be meek and undemanding. Some men, experts say, don't know how to cope with educated women.
"The Saudi woman has joined the work force and has become more educated," said al-Yahya. "This has changed their image from the one that prevailed in the past."
Stringent rules segregating the sexes have remained in place despite the modern facade that has brought malls, satellite TV and the Internet into the kingdom.
Boys and girls are separated once they reach puberty and are often not prepared to live with a member of the opposite sex after they get married. Women, who must wear veils and black cloaks called abayas, are kept away from men who are not husbands, brothers or uncles.
Very rarely do couples go out before they get married, and some don't see their spouses until their wedding night.
Even after they get married, it is difficult for couples to go out together. For instance, a married couple cannot go out to dinner with other married couples because the wives would be in the presence of men who are not their husbands. At family gatherings, women and men sit in separate rooms.
The institution of marriage also has been rocked by the introduction of other forms of marriage, sometimes called weekend marriages, that have grown in popularity in Saudi Arabia after influential clergy issued edicts supporting them earlier this year. These marriages relieve men of financial responsibilities and other obligations, including having to reveal them to family or other wives. Islam allows men to have up to four wives.
The proponents of such marriages say they decrease the number of unwed Saudi women, but critics say such unions destroy the family structure and encourage men to take additional wives who are usually younger "ornaments" rather than older unmarried women.
"I wonder if the virtuous men issuing such edicts do not pause to ponder the effects of such righteous proclamations on our fragile society," wrote Tariq al-Maeena in Arab News recently.
Al-Yahya said one way to save marriages is to make divorces more difficult. In Islam, a man can dissolve a marriage just by telling his wife, "You are divorced." Women, meanwhile, must go to court to get their marriages dissolved and only under exceptional circumstances such as the husband's mental illness.
"If there were strict laws they would make men think twice before divorcing their wives," al-Yahya said.
At a recent al-Shaqaiq Society class, Abdul-Aziz and 17 other young women sat in leather chairs at a horseshoe-shaped table to hear a lecture on "Discovering the Treasures for a Happy Life." The society also offers similar courses for men.
"What do you want out of married life?" instructor Almass al-Hijn asked the group. "Is your goal to find someone to spoil you and take you out to restaurants or to find a man who will protect you and with whom you can build a family?"
One student, 19-year-old Sara Bawahhal who recently got engaged, said she just hopes the course gives her the tools she needs to be a good wife.
"Girls don't know what is expected of them in marriage," she said. "This course expands a girl's horizons so she can go into marriage with open eyes."
© 2009 Deseret News Publishing Company | All rights reserved
High dowry? No, won’t marry you!
By Diana Al-Jassem
JEDDAH – Young Saudi men have started an online campaign to boycott marrying Saudi women because dowries and marriage costs are spiraling.
“Let her become a spinster!” is the theme of the campaign which is attracting a large number of young Saudi men who can’t afford to marry Saudi women and are looking for non-Saudi brides.
The websites leading the campaign want Saudi society to intervene before the cost of marriage gets completely out of control.
The websites are asyeh.com. almgha.com. toyota4arab.com, tomaar.com. alhora.com, and montdiatna.com.
“The theme of the campaign may seem a bit harsh... but these young men have their reasons,” said Abdullah Al-Jefn, an Islamic scholar and researcher.
He said the campaign touches on an important issue which should be studied in universities and schools.
“For most young Saudis, getting married is a dream that is becoming increasingly hard to achieve,” Al-Jefn said.
“Shariah law allows the girl to ask the man for whatever dowry she likes; this is not wrong or banned in Islam,” he said. – SG
JEDDAH – Young Saudi men have started an online campaign to boycott marrying Saudi women because dowries and marriage costs are spiraling.
“Let her become a spinster!” is the theme of the campaign which is attracting a large number of young Saudi men who can’t afford to marry Saudi women and are looking for non-Saudi brides.
The websites leading the campaign want Saudi society to intervene before the cost of marriage gets completely out of control.
The websites are asyeh.com. almgha.com. toyota4arab.com, tomaar.com. alhora.com, and montdiatna.com.
“The theme of the campaign may seem a bit harsh... but these young men have their reasons,” said Abdullah Al-Jefn, an Islamic scholar and researcher.
He said the campaign touches on an important issue which should be studied in universities and schools.
“For most young Saudis, getting married is a dream that is becoming increasingly hard to achieve,” Al-Jefn said.
“Shariah law allows the girl to ask the man for whatever dowry she likes; this is not wrong or banned in Islam,” he said. – SG
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Unmarried Women — Alarming Statistics
The Middle East's Leading English Language Daily
Monday 25 October 2004 (11 Ramadan 1425)
Depending on the societies they live in, when unmarried girls reach a certain age which differs from society to society, people begin to refer to them as “old maids” or “spinsters”.
Especially in Arab countries, people still look upon a young unmarried girl as though she were to blame for her state. Fingers are pointed accusingly at her regardless of the reasons or her own circumstances. The girl soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations, and meddling by those around her and even those closest to her.
The reasons for the girl’s delay in getting married or in not getting married at all are many and varied. There are social circumstances and pressures that drive a girl to study and to work in order to become financially stable.
There are also other reasons such as high dowries. Then there are families which demand that a prospective suitor have certain characteristics or else they will not allow their daughters or sisters to marry him. Omaimah Sanad from Sayidaty, a sister publication of Arab News, examined the problem.
JEDDAH, 25 October 2004 — What do girls in Saudi Arabia say about why they are not married? How much do they suffer because they are not married? Can a girl begin a new life and start a family no matter how late?
Fawzia, who is 38 years old, said: “I tried to imitate some girls in my family by carrying the banner of ‘No To Marriage’ — at least not until I had completed my education, graduated and worked as a teacher. As time passed, I became increasingly involved in my professional life. To be fair, I received many proposals at that time but the men did not meet my standards. And my friends and family agreed with me because they wanted me to have what I wanted in a partner. My mother, however, God rest her soul, disagreed and used to try to convince me to take the proposals more seriously. She told me over and over not to imitate my cousins since they had not received proposals as good as mine in the first place. But I didn’t listen to her and thought that as I was still young and attractive, I had plenty of time to consider different options and choose the right man. The days and months flew by and with the deaths of my mother and father, I was left alone. Most of my friends are married now; I’m still alone and my looks are fading with time. I realize too late that I’ve wasted my life setting impossible conditions for the men who wanted to marry me.”
Dr. Ulfat, a single woman in her 40s, said: “I wronged myself by going along with my mother’s decisions. My mother refused every suitor on the basis that he wasn’t worthy of us. And what made things worse was that my father was so much weaker than my mother that she had ‘the’ say in everything related to my sisters and me for more than 20 years. My sisters and I never had the courage to disagree with her or challenge her. And if the suitor was up to our standards, she would make up conditions that were impossible to fulfill. We never knew what she wanted from a prospective husband. The situation continued until we were no longer young but were still being called ‘Miss’. Now whenever anyone asks us why we are not married, we justify ourselves by saying that we are too involved with our professional lives. Our mother still dreams of a perfect husband for each of us; in her eyes, we are still ‘little girls’ even though we are all highly qualified adults.”
Mona, who is 35 and still single, said: “Yes, it is not easy being an unmarried woman in our society. Girls who refuse to marry don’t do so without a reason. Very often the reason is her family’s attitude and that is the reason in my case. Today I’m 35 and I’ve been getting proposals since I was 14; my father, however, refused them all since he was influenced by my stepmother who accused every man of being a gold digger, greedy for my money and social status. At the same time, she managed to marry off her own daughters to men who were not always up to the standards she set for me. The result was that I focused on my studies since I had no other outlet. I had to dodge the queries about my being single. People pitied me and said how strange it was that with my looks, education and status that I was still unmarried. Even after I graduated and began working, suitors approached my family but all were turned away. We have reached the point where no one will ask for me since it is well-known that everybody will be refused.”
Munira, who is over 30, said: “My love for children surpasses everything in the world. I was so eager to get married and have a family but my mother refused every man who proposed to me or my sister. When I asked my mother why she refused them even though many came from prominent families, she answered that this was in accordance with our late father’s will that we not marry anyone outside our tribe and that we had been betrothed as children to some of our paternal cousins because they could protect us and keep in the family the wealth inherited from our father. For 20 years we waited for our cousins to propose to us but they never did. The years passed by and our younger brothers and sisters got married while we have remained single.”
Hayat and her sister are teachers and together earn more than SR12,000 every month. They say their father refuses to let them marry because of what they earn; if they marry, he will lose access to their money. He treats every man as someone who wants only his daughter’s salary. He does not want to lose it. The fact is that their father allows them only SR1,000 a month and this has forced them to go to a lawyer to file suit against him and to complain of his mistreatment of their mother. If the suit is successful, they can then marry.
Leila, who turned 34 only recently, said: “My chances of getting married are decreasing if not already ended. In this day and age, young men are unlikely to marry a girl they’ve not seen — or at least one which their relatives have seen. After all, this is how girls get married; someone from among the man’s family or friends sees the girl and recommends her. Since I’m not allowed to leave the house or go out or work, no one will see me and so I remain unmarried. These conditions are the ones I have lived under since childhood; my mother didn’t allow me to go anywhere but school and so I didn’t make many friends. In order to have friends, you must be able to come and go and that is what I was not allowed to do. And even after I graduated, I wasn’t allowed to work. This made me ask my family what had been the point of my education and my degree if I was not to be allowed to work? They said both would be an advantage when I raised my children. I have now gone to a matchmaker in hopes that she can find a husband for me.”
Traditions have been a major obstacle to 32-year-old Lamia’s marriage. “My family is the reason I wasn’t able to marry the one my heart chose even though they knew his family well. We had been neighbors for a long time and my brothers and sisters like him which is why my involvement with him was so natural from the start. After we grew up and completed our college education, it was only natural that he should ask my family for my hand in marriage. My family refused even though they have known him for 30 years. He is like a son to my father who likes him and speaks approvingly of his conduct and character. They would not at first tell me why they had refused but I persisted and finally the reason my father gave me was: ‘He isn’t originally Saudi.’ This shocked me because I had no idea my family would refuse someone for such a shallow reason or even that they would think along such narrow lines. This has led me to refuse all other men who proposed in hopes that my family will finally let me marry the person I have chosen.”
Maha, who is 37, said: “My not being married is a matter that is out of my hands even though I’m well-educated and said to be attractive. Many men, however, will not propose to someone who is better educated than they are. There was once a young man who asked to marry me and my family and his agreed on everything. Then he suddenly disappeared without any explanation except that he didn’t want to marry an educated working woman. This scenario has been repeated several times.”
Why Marriages Are Delayed
Dr. Bakr Bagader, an anthropology professor at King Abdul Aziz University in Jeddah, said: “People differ in the age at which a woman is considered an ‘old maid’. Much depends on the practices and ideas of the society the girl lives in. We often see today that the marriageable age is linked to the stages in education because of the responsibilities of making a living and supporting a family. A man must be able to earn a living and it is even better if both partners can work and contribute to the family’s finances. Two incomes give a family more disposable income and increase status. Completing education is thus seen as important and delays marriage for girls. In fact, in some situations, a degree and a job for a girl is highly desirable. Women no longer feel that their worth or status is dependent upon their husband. Another factor in delaying marriages is that it is now possible for women to delay having children until they want them rather than getting married and getting pregnant the same year.”
According to the latest statistics from the Ministry of Planning:
• There are 2,638,575 married women in Saudi Arabia out of a total of 4,572,231.
• The number of unmarried girls over 30 is more than 1.5 million: Makkah: 396,248; Riyadh: 327,427; Asir: 130,812; Madinah: 95,542; Jizan: 84,845; Qasim: 74,209; Jouf: 5,219; Tabuk 36,689 and the Eastern Province 21,543.
Copyright: Arab News © 2003 All rights reserved. Site designed by: arabix
Monday 25 October 2004 (11 Ramadan 1425)
Depending on the societies they live in, when unmarried girls reach a certain age which differs from society to society, people begin to refer to them as “old maids” or “spinsters”.
Especially in Arab countries, people still look upon a young unmarried girl as though she were to blame for her state. Fingers are pointed accusingly at her regardless of the reasons or her own circumstances. The girl soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations, and meddling by those around her and even those closest to her.
The reasons for the girl’s delay in getting married or in not getting married at all are many and varied. There are social circumstances and pressures that drive a girl to study and to work in order to become financially stable.
There are also other reasons such as high dowries. Then there are families which demand that a prospective suitor have certain characteristics or else they will not allow their daughters or sisters to marry him. Omaimah Sanad from Sayidaty, a sister publication of Arab News, examined the problem.
JEDDAH, 25 October 2004 — What do girls in Saudi Arabia say about why they are not married? How much do they suffer because they are not married? Can a girl begin a new life and start a family no matter how late?
Fawzia, who is 38 years old, said: “I tried to imitate some girls in my family by carrying the banner of ‘No To Marriage’ — at least not until I had completed my education, graduated and worked as a teacher. As time passed, I became increasingly involved in my professional life. To be fair, I received many proposals at that time but the men did not meet my standards. And my friends and family agreed with me because they wanted me to have what I wanted in a partner. My mother, however, God rest her soul, disagreed and used to try to convince me to take the proposals more seriously. She told me over and over not to imitate my cousins since they had not received proposals as good as mine in the first place. But I didn’t listen to her and thought that as I was still young and attractive, I had plenty of time to consider different options and choose the right man. The days and months flew by and with the deaths of my mother and father, I was left alone. Most of my friends are married now; I’m still alone and my looks are fading with time. I realize too late that I’ve wasted my life setting impossible conditions for the men who wanted to marry me.”
Dr. Ulfat, a single woman in her 40s, said: “I wronged myself by going along with my mother’s decisions. My mother refused every suitor on the basis that he wasn’t worthy of us. And what made things worse was that my father was so much weaker than my mother that she had ‘the’ say in everything related to my sisters and me for more than 20 years. My sisters and I never had the courage to disagree with her or challenge her. And if the suitor was up to our standards, she would make up conditions that were impossible to fulfill. We never knew what she wanted from a prospective husband. The situation continued until we were no longer young but were still being called ‘Miss’. Now whenever anyone asks us why we are not married, we justify ourselves by saying that we are too involved with our professional lives. Our mother still dreams of a perfect husband for each of us; in her eyes, we are still ‘little girls’ even though we are all highly qualified adults.”
Mona, who is 35 and still single, said: “Yes, it is not easy being an unmarried woman in our society. Girls who refuse to marry don’t do so without a reason. Very often the reason is her family’s attitude and that is the reason in my case. Today I’m 35 and I’ve been getting proposals since I was 14; my father, however, refused them all since he was influenced by my stepmother who accused every man of being a gold digger, greedy for my money and social status. At the same time, she managed to marry off her own daughters to men who were not always up to the standards she set for me. The result was that I focused on my studies since I had no other outlet. I had to dodge the queries about my being single. People pitied me and said how strange it was that with my looks, education and status that I was still unmarried. Even after I graduated and began working, suitors approached my family but all were turned away. We have reached the point where no one will ask for me since it is well-known that everybody will be refused.”
Munira, who is over 30, said: “My love for children surpasses everything in the world. I was so eager to get married and have a family but my mother refused every man who proposed to me or my sister. When I asked my mother why she refused them even though many came from prominent families, she answered that this was in accordance with our late father’s will that we not marry anyone outside our tribe and that we had been betrothed as children to some of our paternal cousins because they could protect us and keep in the family the wealth inherited from our father. For 20 years we waited for our cousins to propose to us but they never did. The years passed by and our younger brothers and sisters got married while we have remained single.”
Hayat and her sister are teachers and together earn more than SR12,000 every month. They say their father refuses to let them marry because of what they earn; if they marry, he will lose access to their money. He treats every man as someone who wants only his daughter’s salary. He does not want to lose it. The fact is that their father allows them only SR1,000 a month and this has forced them to go to a lawyer to file suit against him and to complain of his mistreatment of their mother. If the suit is successful, they can then marry.
Leila, who turned 34 only recently, said: “My chances of getting married are decreasing if not already ended. In this day and age, young men are unlikely to marry a girl they’ve not seen — or at least one which their relatives have seen. After all, this is how girls get married; someone from among the man’s family or friends sees the girl and recommends her. Since I’m not allowed to leave the house or go out or work, no one will see me and so I remain unmarried. These conditions are the ones I have lived under since childhood; my mother didn’t allow me to go anywhere but school and so I didn’t make many friends. In order to have friends, you must be able to come and go and that is what I was not allowed to do. And even after I graduated, I wasn’t allowed to work. This made me ask my family what had been the point of my education and my degree if I was not to be allowed to work? They said both would be an advantage when I raised my children. I have now gone to a matchmaker in hopes that she can find a husband for me.”
Traditions have been a major obstacle to 32-year-old Lamia’s marriage. “My family is the reason I wasn’t able to marry the one my heart chose even though they knew his family well. We had been neighbors for a long time and my brothers and sisters like him which is why my involvement with him was so natural from the start. After we grew up and completed our college education, it was only natural that he should ask my family for my hand in marriage. My family refused even though they have known him for 30 years. He is like a son to my father who likes him and speaks approvingly of his conduct and character. They would not at first tell me why they had refused but I persisted and finally the reason my father gave me was: ‘He isn’t originally Saudi.’ This shocked me because I had no idea my family would refuse someone for such a shallow reason or even that they would think along such narrow lines. This has led me to refuse all other men who proposed in hopes that my family will finally let me marry the person I have chosen.”
Maha, who is 37, said: “My not being married is a matter that is out of my hands even though I’m well-educated and said to be attractive. Many men, however, will not propose to someone who is better educated than they are. There was once a young man who asked to marry me and my family and his agreed on everything. Then he suddenly disappeared without any explanation except that he didn’t want to marry an educated working woman. This scenario has been repeated several times.”
Why Marriages Are Delayed
Dr. Bakr Bagader, an anthropology professor at King Abdul Aziz University in Jeddah, said: “People differ in the age at which a woman is considered an ‘old maid’. Much depends on the practices and ideas of the society the girl lives in. We often see today that the marriageable age is linked to the stages in education because of the responsibilities of making a living and supporting a family. A man must be able to earn a living and it is even better if both partners can work and contribute to the family’s finances. Two incomes give a family more disposable income and increase status. Completing education is thus seen as important and delays marriage for girls. In fact, in some situations, a degree and a job for a girl is highly desirable. Women no longer feel that their worth or status is dependent upon their husband. Another factor in delaying marriages is that it is now possible for women to delay having children until they want them rather than getting married and getting pregnant the same year.”
According to the latest statistics from the Ministry of Planning:
• There are 2,638,575 married women in Saudi Arabia out of a total of 4,572,231.
• The number of unmarried girls over 30 is more than 1.5 million: Makkah: 396,248; Riyadh: 327,427; Asir: 130,812; Madinah: 95,542; Jizan: 84,845; Qasim: 74,209; Jouf: 5,219; Tabuk 36,689 and the Eastern Province 21,543.
Copyright: Arab News © 2003 All rights reserved. Site designed by: arabix
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Who's in the know: Women surge, men sink in education's gender gap
December 7, 2009
Who's in the know: Women surge, men sink in education's gender gap
By ELIZABETH CHURCH
From Monday's Globe and Mail
Female students are dominating campuses, a shift that will change 'who does what.' But leaving men behind has its costs
EDUCATION REPORTER
In a red-brick building at the University of Guelph, where veterinarians have been schooled for the better part of a century, a demographic shift is taking place that offers a window into the future of human behaviour.
In the past decade, Ontario Veterinary College has seen its student numbers turned on their head: Women account for more than 80 per cent of its students during that time, and now make up more than half of the province's practising vets.
It's an extreme example of a story that is playing out on campuses in Canada and around the world - and a trend that could have profound social implications. There are now three female undergraduates for every two male students on Canadian campuses, and more women than men graduated with higher education degrees in 75 of 98 countries examined in a recent UNESCO study.
Women are expected to gain more power in public and corporate life and more financial independence.
Faced with a dwindling number of potential mates who are their education equals, however, researchers speculate more women may take a pass on the traditional family, or be more willing to leave it when things don't work. And more men may find themselves tending to hearth and home.
"We are an example of things to come," says Serge Desmarais, Guelph's associate vice-president, academic, and a psychologist who specializes in gender studies. "Imagine 30 years from now when 60, 70 per cent of the people who are educated are women. It has to change the ratio of who does what. And that has huge social ramifications."
Economist Ross Finnie agrees. "It's a whole new world," says Prof. Finnie, who teaches public policy at the University of Ottawa. "This is a complete flip-around from not so long ago. I think the direction of change is almost certain. I don't think it's ridiculous to say women will have the upper hand in a way they haven't in the past."
Today's "gender gap" has been a long time in the making. Women reached parity at the undergraduate level in 1987, at the masters level in 1997, and now account for about 46 per cent of PhD candidates. Women are still the minority in fields such as engineering, computer science and math, but account for the majority of students in most disciplines.
But the economic meltdown and the huge hit taken by traditionally male-dominated industries, such as the auto sector, has brought a new urgency to the debate. Even in the depths of the current recession, when the country shed 330,000 jobs, about 62,000 new positions were created for university graduates in the 12 months up to September, Statistics Canada numbers show.
Some university leaders say the gap is a reflection of a larger societal puzzle that sees boys lagging girls in academic achievement long before they reach campuses, and has led to new approaches for teaching boys, such as boys-only schools. Studies show that as early as Grade 9, more girls plan to attend university, and those aspirations increase as they approach graduation.
"We should be concerned about any group not participating in post-secondary education," says Ryerson University president Sheldon Levy. "We need to ask some tough questions about the graduation rates of men out of high school and why they aren't going to universities."
Others are more cautious, pointing to U.S. research that finds girls historically have done better at school, but were discouraged from continuing their education. And men are still going to university at record levels: 85,000 of them were in Canadian undergraduate and graduate programs in 2007 - about 30 per cent more than in 2000. As for colleges, men and women are going in equal numbers.
At Guelph, first-year student vet Adam Little is acutely aware of his outnumbered status. "I am a white guy and I am in the minority. It is definitely a different dynamic," says Mr. Little, who acknowledges he and his male classmates tend to stick together. While he knows of several men who had ambitions of going to the vet college, they took different paths when confronted with the school's admissions hurdles. "The people who stick with it are mostly women," he adds.
Some attempts to right the growing imbalance have been controversial. When University of Alberta president Indira Samarasekera told local media she was prepared to be "an advocate for young white men," the reaction was quick, including a poster campaign by students mocking her remarks.
"I know a problematic statement when I see one," said student Derek Warwick, a key organizer of the campaign. A Métis student from rural Alberta, he says there are plenty of groups - racial minorities, aboriginals, students from low-income families - who are underrepresented at universities and deserve attention.
And despite the changes anticipated by some researchers, women in Canada hold roughly 5 per cent of top corporate jobs and account for 5.6 per cent of the highest earners, according to the research group Catalyst Inc. Young women still make about 90 cents for every dollar earned by a young man.
A South Asian who was one of only two female engineering professors at the University of British Columbia when she began her career, Dr. Samarasekera says she understands how much ground women and minority groups still need to gain. But she argues society can no longer ignore what is happening to men.
"There is a feeling men can take care of themselves - clearly that is not true. If that were true, we wouldn't be seeing this growing gap." Men's failure to go on to higher education in the same numbers as women is a "demographic bomb," she warns, that will hurt Canada's ability to compete and limit men's potential.
But beyond stepping up recruitment efforts, universities say their hands are tied. "We really have no ability to do anything in the admissions process to give preferential treatment," says David Hannah, the vice-president responsible for enrolment at the University of Saskatchewan. "I've had deans ask me about that as a way to get a better balance in their programs, and the answer is no. It's against the law."
In the United States, favouritism toward male applicants is suspected at some liberal arts colleges, where the absence of faculties such as engineering and computer science puts gender numbers even more off-kilter. The U.S. Commission on Civil Rights last month began an inquiry into accusations that private schools are discriminating against women to prevent campuses from becoming "too female," fearing this will discourage others from applying.
At the University of Guelph, Prof. Desmarais says simple solutions such as boys-only schools can't be expected to solve such a complex question. The greater problem, he argues, is the still-held belief by some groups that education is a waste of their time.
"The problem is not what happens here, but what happens to lead people here," he says. "If achieving in school earlier in life is not perceived to be important, then I can tell you, they are never seeing university."
At the vet school, Mr. Little says being one of 26 men in a class of 112 has some obvious advantages. Although singlet, at least in one respect, the odds are still in his favour.
CTVglobemedia Publishing, Inc
Who's in the know: Women surge, men sink in education's gender gap
By ELIZABETH CHURCH
From Monday's Globe and Mail
Female students are dominating campuses, a shift that will change 'who does what.' But leaving men behind has its costs
EDUCATION REPORTER
In a red-brick building at the University of Guelph, where veterinarians have been schooled for the better part of a century, a demographic shift is taking place that offers a window into the future of human behaviour.
In the past decade, Ontario Veterinary College has seen its student numbers turned on their head: Women account for more than 80 per cent of its students during that time, and now make up more than half of the province's practising vets.
It's an extreme example of a story that is playing out on campuses in Canada and around the world - and a trend that could have profound social implications. There are now three female undergraduates for every two male students on Canadian campuses, and more women than men graduated with higher education degrees in 75 of 98 countries examined in a recent UNESCO study.
Women are expected to gain more power in public and corporate life and more financial independence.
Faced with a dwindling number of potential mates who are their education equals, however, researchers speculate more women may take a pass on the traditional family, or be more willing to leave it when things don't work. And more men may find themselves tending to hearth and home.
"We are an example of things to come," says Serge Desmarais, Guelph's associate vice-president, academic, and a psychologist who specializes in gender studies. "Imagine 30 years from now when 60, 70 per cent of the people who are educated are women. It has to change the ratio of who does what. And that has huge social ramifications."
Economist Ross Finnie agrees. "It's a whole new world," says Prof. Finnie, who teaches public policy at the University of Ottawa. "This is a complete flip-around from not so long ago. I think the direction of change is almost certain. I don't think it's ridiculous to say women will have the upper hand in a way they haven't in the past."
Today's "gender gap" has been a long time in the making. Women reached parity at the undergraduate level in 1987, at the masters level in 1997, and now account for about 46 per cent of PhD candidates. Women are still the minority in fields such as engineering, computer science and math, but account for the majority of students in most disciplines.
But the economic meltdown and the huge hit taken by traditionally male-dominated industries, such as the auto sector, has brought a new urgency to the debate. Even in the depths of the current recession, when the country shed 330,000 jobs, about 62,000 new positions were created for university graduates in the 12 months up to September, Statistics Canada numbers show.
Some university leaders say the gap is a reflection of a larger societal puzzle that sees boys lagging girls in academic achievement long before they reach campuses, and has led to new approaches for teaching boys, such as boys-only schools. Studies show that as early as Grade 9, more girls plan to attend university, and those aspirations increase as they approach graduation.
"We should be concerned about any group not participating in post-secondary education," says Ryerson University president Sheldon Levy. "We need to ask some tough questions about the graduation rates of men out of high school and why they aren't going to universities."
Others are more cautious, pointing to U.S. research that finds girls historically have done better at school, but were discouraged from continuing their education. And men are still going to university at record levels: 85,000 of them were in Canadian undergraduate and graduate programs in 2007 - about 30 per cent more than in 2000. As for colleges, men and women are going in equal numbers.
At Guelph, first-year student vet Adam Little is acutely aware of his outnumbered status. "I am a white guy and I am in the minority. It is definitely a different dynamic," says Mr. Little, who acknowledges he and his male classmates tend to stick together. While he knows of several men who had ambitions of going to the vet college, they took different paths when confronted with the school's admissions hurdles. "The people who stick with it are mostly women," he adds.
Some attempts to right the growing imbalance have been controversial. When University of Alberta president Indira Samarasekera told local media she was prepared to be "an advocate for young white men," the reaction was quick, including a poster campaign by students mocking her remarks.
"I know a problematic statement when I see one," said student Derek Warwick, a key organizer of the campaign. A Métis student from rural Alberta, he says there are plenty of groups - racial minorities, aboriginals, students from low-income families - who are underrepresented at universities and deserve attention.
And despite the changes anticipated by some researchers, women in Canada hold roughly 5 per cent of top corporate jobs and account for 5.6 per cent of the highest earners, according to the research group Catalyst Inc. Young women still make about 90 cents for every dollar earned by a young man.
A South Asian who was one of only two female engineering professors at the University of British Columbia when she began her career, Dr. Samarasekera says she understands how much ground women and minority groups still need to gain. But she argues society can no longer ignore what is happening to men.
"There is a feeling men can take care of themselves - clearly that is not true. If that were true, we wouldn't be seeing this growing gap." Men's failure to go on to higher education in the same numbers as women is a "demographic bomb," she warns, that will hurt Canada's ability to compete and limit men's potential.
But beyond stepping up recruitment efforts, universities say their hands are tied. "We really have no ability to do anything in the admissions process to give preferential treatment," says David Hannah, the vice-president responsible for enrolment at the University of Saskatchewan. "I've had deans ask me about that as a way to get a better balance in their programs, and the answer is no. It's against the law."
In the United States, favouritism toward male applicants is suspected at some liberal arts colleges, where the absence of faculties such as engineering and computer science puts gender numbers even more off-kilter. The U.S. Commission on Civil Rights last month began an inquiry into accusations that private schools are discriminating against women to prevent campuses from becoming "too female," fearing this will discourage others from applying.
At the University of Guelph, Prof. Desmarais says simple solutions such as boys-only schools can't be expected to solve such a complex question. The greater problem, he argues, is the still-held belief by some groups that education is a waste of their time.
"The problem is not what happens here, but what happens to lead people here," he says. "If achieving in school earlier in life is not perceived to be important, then I can tell you, they are never seeing university."
At the vet school, Mr. Little says being one of 26 men in a class of 112 has some obvious advantages. Although singlet, at least in one respect, the odds are still in his favour.
CTVglobemedia Publishing, Inc
Saturday, December 12, 2009
What it Means to be a Women
INFERTILTY
What it Means to Be a Woman
In developing countries, where infertility is seen as a personal failing, or even a curse, a woman who can't conceive may face devastating ostracism. But there's hope for more affordable treatment.
By Karen Springen | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Sep 15, 2008 | Updated: 10:20 a.m. ET Sep 14, 2008
Mamta Jhunjhun Wala, 42, of Mumbai still remembers the stigma of being unable to bear children for the first 13 years of her marriage. People ask a woman's name—and then, "How many children do you have?" When the woman answers "none," she says, "they don't know what they can talk to you about." Thanks to treatments at Mumbai's Malpani Infertility Clinic, Wala finally conceived a daughter, now 10, and twin boys, now 8. With her doctor, she started a support group to help give other infertile couples the help she wishes she had had, she says. "There were a lot of emotional questions, and support I needed, and there was nobody for me."
Wala is lucky. "It is very, very difficult for people in the United States to deal with [infertility], and yet, when you go to other cultures, it's even more devastating to people," says Dr. David Adamson, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and a board member of the International Federation of Fertility Societies. Worldwide, the World Health Organization says about one in 10 couples experiences difficulty conceiving a child at some point in their lives.
In some developing countries, the consequences of infertility—which can include ostracism, physical abuse and even suicide—are heartbreaking. "If you are infertile in some cultures, you are less than a dog," says Willem Ombelet of the Genk Institute for Fertility Technology in Belgium. Women are often uneducated, so their only identity comes from being moms. "It [infertility] is an issue of profound human suffering, particularly for women," says Marcia Inhorn, professor of anthropology and international affairs at Yale University. "It's a human-rights issue."
The stigma that infertile women face can infiltrate every aspect of life. They may not even be invited to weddings or other important gatherings. "People see them as having a "bad eye" that will make you infertile, too. Infertile women are considered inauspicious," says Inhorn. Other people simply "don't want to have them around at joyous occasions," says Frank van Balen, coauthor (with Inhorn) of "Infertility Around the Globe" and a professor in the department of social and behavioral sciences at the University of Amsterdam. Their reasoning: "they could spoil it," he says.
Often the female takes the blame even when the problem lies with the man, says Inhorn. The women often keep their husband's secret and bear the insults. In Chad, a proverb says, "A woman without children is like a tree without leaves." If a woman doesn't bear children, their husbands may leave them or take new wives with society's blessing. In some Muslim places, women can't go on the street on their own. "If they have a child with them, they can do their errands," says van Balen.
Childlessness can also be an enormous economic problem in developing countries where Social Security, pensions and retirement-savings plans are not the norm. "If you don't have your children, no one looks after you," says Guido Pennings, professor of philosophy and moral science at Belgium's Ghent University. Religion shapes attitudes, too. "People are supposed to go out and populate the earth," says Ian Cooke, director of education for the International Federation of Fertility Societies and cofounder of the Low-Cost IVF Foundation. In the Hindu religion, a woman without a child, particularly a son, can't go to heaven. Sons perform death rituals. Infertile couples worry that without a child, who will mourn for them and bury them? In China and Vietnam, the traditional belief is that the souls of childless people can't easily rest. In India, the eldest son traditionally lights the funeral pyre. In Muslim cultures, the stigma follows childless women even after death: women without children aren't always allowed to be buried in graveyards or sacred grounds.
In Western countries, it has become much more socially acceptable to be childless, and more American women are hitting their 40s without kids, according to the latest census data. By contrast, in many developing countries, women have no careers—just motherhood—to give them their identity. "The notion of child-free living is not considered an acceptable thing for a married couple," says Inhorn. And particularly in Muslim and Hindu areas, she says, adoption "is not an immediate second path."
Legal adoption is "bureaucratically onerous" and often not socially acceptable, says Elizabeth Roberts, assistant professor of anthropology at the University of Michigan, who studied the people of Ecuador. So it's not surprising that even extremely poor people may go into debt trying to conceive. "A family is only a family if there are children, basically," says Roberts. "The biggest stumbling block is money."
Many couples may waste valuable years resorting to "black magic," says Aravinda Guntupalli, a professor at the University of Tübingen in Germany who studied infertility in India. The couples ask so-called sacred people what days they should fast, and they journey to spiritual places. In the tribal area of India where Guntupalli worked, women dry up umbilical cords and sneak them into infertile women's food to try to help them. "They think it creates some fertility juice in the body," she says.
Not surprisingly, infertility treatments are rarely covered by insurance or by government aid. "How do you provide what is clearly a highly technological, sophisticated procedure in a place that doesn't have a lot of money?" says Adamson, a member of the not-for-profit International Committee Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies, a technical adviser to the World Health Organization. Leaders of countries struggling with dirty drinking water, tuberculosis, malaria and AIDS may find IVF expenditures hard to justify.
Infertile couples in developing countries don't publicize the fact that they need help even if they can afford treatment. Children are seen as a gift of the gods, so failure to conceive may be perceived as an indication that someone has sinned or is unworthy. "People aren't willing to go up on [the equivalent of] Oprah Winfrey and say, 'Yes, I'm infertile, and I'm getting treatment'," says Dr. Aniruddha Malpani, an Ob-Gyn who runs the Malpani Infertility Clinic in Mumbai with his wife. "People have actually traveled [for treatment], telling people they're going on holiday," says Inhorn.
Even for couples who do have access to fertility clinics, there are challenges. For example, some cultures consider masturbation evil. Yet it's traditionally the way doctors get semen samples to check a man's sperm count and then to perform IVF. In some cases, doctors can offer condoms that allow a couple to have intercourse and save the sperm. Another cultural hurdle: the Muslim world does not accept egg or sperm donation. "Each child should have a known father and a known mother," explains Inhorn. "Every child must know his own heritage." Adds Adamson: "It's very important to honor and respect the fact that people have these values."
One important approach is to focus on preventing, rather than curing, infertility. A major cause of infertility is untreated reproductive tract infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. In places like Africa, the cost of condoms, and taboos against them, contribute to the STD problem. Infection from female genital mutilation adds to the problem. And in some countries, 90 percent of women do not deliver in hospitals, which can also cause complications. And the hospitals they use for birth or abortions aren't always sanitary. Some doctors also believe sperm quality has suffered from toxins like lead, high in Mexico City and Cairo, and dioxin sprayed on crops.
In the developed world, there's sometimes little sympathy for the problem, since the common view is that developing countries are suffering from overpopulation and don't need any more babies. The United Nations projects that the world population will balloon from its current 6.7 billion to 9.1 billion by 2050. But the picture is more complicated than it seems. "We have a fertility paradox in Africa—high fertility rates, and high infertility rates," says Dr. Silke Dyer, an Ob-Gyn in Cape Town and a member of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology task force on developing countries and infertility. (Infertility treatment proponents note that IVF doesn't contribute to overpopulation any more than saving lives with vaccinations does. And both alleviate suffering.)
The good news is that interest in treating infertility around the globe is growing. In 2004, the World Health Organization said people should have access to high-quality services for family planning, including infertility services. Doctors hope to provide $200 to $500 IVF cycles, with cheaper drugs and simplified laboratories, by the end of the year in places like Cape Town and Cairo. Their goal: more happy birth stories, like Wala's.
Find this article at
http://www.newsweek.com/id/158625
© 2008
What it Means to Be a Woman
In developing countries, where infertility is seen as a personal failing, or even a curse, a woman who can't conceive may face devastating ostracism. But there's hope for more affordable treatment.
By Karen Springen | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Sep 15, 2008 | Updated: 10:20 a.m. ET Sep 14, 2008
Mamta Jhunjhun Wala, 42, of Mumbai still remembers the stigma of being unable to bear children for the first 13 years of her marriage. People ask a woman's name—and then, "How many children do you have?" When the woman answers "none," she says, "they don't know what they can talk to you about." Thanks to treatments at Mumbai's Malpani Infertility Clinic, Wala finally conceived a daughter, now 10, and twin boys, now 8. With her doctor, she started a support group to help give other infertile couples the help she wishes she had had, she says. "There were a lot of emotional questions, and support I needed, and there was nobody for me."
Wala is lucky. "It is very, very difficult for people in the United States to deal with [infertility], and yet, when you go to other cultures, it's even more devastating to people," says Dr. David Adamson, president of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine and a board member of the International Federation of Fertility Societies. Worldwide, the World Health Organization says about one in 10 couples experiences difficulty conceiving a child at some point in their lives.
In some developing countries, the consequences of infertility—which can include ostracism, physical abuse and even suicide—are heartbreaking. "If you are infertile in some cultures, you are less than a dog," says Willem Ombelet of the Genk Institute for Fertility Technology in Belgium. Women are often uneducated, so their only identity comes from being moms. "It [infertility] is an issue of profound human suffering, particularly for women," says Marcia Inhorn, professor of anthropology and international affairs at Yale University. "It's a human-rights issue."
The stigma that infertile women face can infiltrate every aspect of life. They may not even be invited to weddings or other important gatherings. "People see them as having a "bad eye" that will make you infertile, too. Infertile women are considered inauspicious," says Inhorn. Other people simply "don't want to have them around at joyous occasions," says Frank van Balen, coauthor (with Inhorn) of "Infertility Around the Globe" and a professor in the department of social and behavioral sciences at the University of Amsterdam. Their reasoning: "they could spoil it," he says.
Often the female takes the blame even when the problem lies with the man, says Inhorn. The women often keep their husband's secret and bear the insults. In Chad, a proverb says, "A woman without children is like a tree without leaves." If a woman doesn't bear children, their husbands may leave them or take new wives with society's blessing. In some Muslim places, women can't go on the street on their own. "If they have a child with them, they can do their errands," says van Balen.
Childlessness can also be an enormous economic problem in developing countries where Social Security, pensions and retirement-savings plans are not the norm. "If you don't have your children, no one looks after you," says Guido Pennings, professor of philosophy and moral science at Belgium's Ghent University. Religion shapes attitudes, too. "People are supposed to go out and populate the earth," says Ian Cooke, director of education for the International Federation of Fertility Societies and cofounder of the Low-Cost IVF Foundation. In the Hindu religion, a woman without a child, particularly a son, can't go to heaven. Sons perform death rituals. Infertile couples worry that without a child, who will mourn for them and bury them? In China and Vietnam, the traditional belief is that the souls of childless people can't easily rest. In India, the eldest son traditionally lights the funeral pyre. In Muslim cultures, the stigma follows childless women even after death: women without children aren't always allowed to be buried in graveyards or sacred grounds.
In Western countries, it has become much more socially acceptable to be childless, and more American women are hitting their 40s without kids, according to the latest census data. By contrast, in many developing countries, women have no careers—just motherhood—to give them their identity. "The notion of child-free living is not considered an acceptable thing for a married couple," says Inhorn. And particularly in Muslim and Hindu areas, she says, adoption "is not an immediate second path."
Legal adoption is "bureaucratically onerous" and often not socially acceptable, says Elizabeth Roberts, assistant professor of anthropology at the University of Michigan, who studied the people of Ecuador. So it's not surprising that even extremely poor people may go into debt trying to conceive. "A family is only a family if there are children, basically," says Roberts. "The biggest stumbling block is money."
Many couples may waste valuable years resorting to "black magic," says Aravinda Guntupalli, a professor at the University of Tübingen in Germany who studied infertility in India. The couples ask so-called sacred people what days they should fast, and they journey to spiritual places. In the tribal area of India where Guntupalli worked, women dry up umbilical cords and sneak them into infertile women's food to try to help them. "They think it creates some fertility juice in the body," she says.
Not surprisingly, infertility treatments are rarely covered by insurance or by government aid. "How do you provide what is clearly a highly technological, sophisticated procedure in a place that doesn't have a lot of money?" says Adamson, a member of the not-for-profit International Committee Monitoring Assisted Reproductive Technologies, a technical adviser to the World Health Organization. Leaders of countries struggling with dirty drinking water, tuberculosis, malaria and AIDS may find IVF expenditures hard to justify.
Infertile couples in developing countries don't publicize the fact that they need help even if they can afford treatment. Children are seen as a gift of the gods, so failure to conceive may be perceived as an indication that someone has sinned or is unworthy. "People aren't willing to go up on [the equivalent of] Oprah Winfrey and say, 'Yes, I'm infertile, and I'm getting treatment'," says Dr. Aniruddha Malpani, an Ob-Gyn who runs the Malpani Infertility Clinic in Mumbai with his wife. "People have actually traveled [for treatment], telling people they're going on holiday," says Inhorn.
Even for couples who do have access to fertility clinics, there are challenges. For example, some cultures consider masturbation evil. Yet it's traditionally the way doctors get semen samples to check a man's sperm count and then to perform IVF. In some cases, doctors can offer condoms that allow a couple to have intercourse and save the sperm. Another cultural hurdle: the Muslim world does not accept egg or sperm donation. "Each child should have a known father and a known mother," explains Inhorn. "Every child must know his own heritage." Adds Adamson: "It's very important to honor and respect the fact that people have these values."
One important approach is to focus on preventing, rather than curing, infertility. A major cause of infertility is untreated reproductive tract infections such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. In places like Africa, the cost of condoms, and taboos against them, contribute to the STD problem. Infection from female genital mutilation adds to the problem. And in some countries, 90 percent of women do not deliver in hospitals, which can also cause complications. And the hospitals they use for birth or abortions aren't always sanitary. Some doctors also believe sperm quality has suffered from toxins like lead, high in Mexico City and Cairo, and dioxin sprayed on crops.
In the developed world, there's sometimes little sympathy for the problem, since the common view is that developing countries are suffering from overpopulation and don't need any more babies. The United Nations projects that the world population will balloon from its current 6.7 billion to 9.1 billion by 2050. But the picture is more complicated than it seems. "We have a fertility paradox in Africa—high fertility rates, and high infertility rates," says Dr. Silke Dyer, an Ob-Gyn in Cape Town and a member of the European Society for Human Reproduction and Embryology task force on developing countries and infertility. (Infertility treatment proponents note that IVF doesn't contribute to overpopulation any more than saving lives with vaccinations does. And both alleviate suffering.)
The good news is that interest in treating infertility around the globe is growing. In 2004, the World Health Organization said people should have access to high-quality services for family planning, including infertility services. Doctors hope to provide $200 to $500 IVF cycles, with cheaper drugs and simplified laboratories, by the end of the year in places like Cape Town and Cairo. Their goal: more happy birth stories, like Wala's.
Find this article at
http://www.newsweek.com/id/158625
© 2008
Modern Maternity
PREGNANCY
Modern Maternity
More women are having kids after 40, but whether they did it with medical help or not, the road to motherhood can be rough.
By Joan Raymond | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Sep 15, 2008 | Updated: 10:20 a.m. ET Sep 14, 2008
Jennie Villa wanted to have it all. A great education and career. Financial security. A loving husband. And kids. For Villa, the dream came true, albeit a little later than she would have liked. At age 37, she met that man of her dreams. Three years later they got married. This past August, at age 41, Villa, of Cleveland, gave birth to fraternal twins: a son, Quinn, and daughter Kendall. Her life, she says, is "pretty perfect." And when it comes to her kids, she is over the moon. "I think they're a miracle," says Villa, who got pregnant the old-fashioned way, without the use of assisted reproductive technologies.
Any woman who has had a child after age 40 can understand Villa's hyperbole. That's because, statistically speaking, the chances of having a successful pregnancy at what doctors call an "advanced maternal age" are fairly dismal. By about age 40, a woman's chance of getting pregnant naturally is only about 5 percent in any given month (down from about 20 percent at age 30). The use of assisted reproductive technologies ups the odds—but not as much as it could if a woman were younger. By age 45, a woman's chance of getting pregnant with her own eggs is virtually zero.
Still, some women are defying those odds. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the number of mothers giving birth at age 40 or older has doubled in the last several decades, partly due to medical assists like in vitro fertilization or the use of donor eggs.
The reasons women become first-time moms or add to the brood later in life are as varied as the women themselves. There are career goals to meet. And bank accounts to grow. Some women waited for marriage. Some never married at all. There are second marriages. And even surprise births.
For those who wait, getting pregnant is a roll of the dice even with the help of science. "Not every egg over age 40 is created the same," says Dr. Karen Ashby, assistant professor of reproductive biology at University Hospitals Case Medical Center. "Some healthy women will get pregnant without a problem, other women simply won't."
It's clear that even as medical interventions are helping more older women get pregnant, science can't keep up with the increase in the number of women who delay childbearing and then find themselves battling the clock. For every high-profile midlife mom like actress Marcia Cross or Nicole Kidman, there are lots of women who can't get pregnant. The total number of women age 40 to 44 who don't have kids at all is about 20 percent—double what it was 30 years ago, according to a census report released in August.
There's no breakdown of how many of the childless women in that age group chose not to have kids and how many didn't have them because of fertility issues or other circumstances. But choice seems to be the operative word when it comes to how women feel about the lack of children. Women without children who believed it was better to have a child were more likely to report being lonely and depressed in their later years than women who said it didn't make a difference, says Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, associate professor of sociology at the University of Florida, author of a 2003 study that analyzed data from a survey of more than 3,800 men and women about relationships and family life.
Those women who do get pregnant after 40 may face a laundry list of age-related medical issues. "When you're older you tend to acquire diseases" such as high blood pressure and diabetes, both of which can affect pregnancies, says Dr. Alan Peaceman, chief of the division of maternal fetal medicine at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and professor of obstetrics-gynecology at Northwestern's Feinberg School of Medicine.
And simply being older and pregnant carries a much greater risk of miscarriage. Babies of older moms aren't immune to problems, either. They may be born too small or have underdeveloped lungs. And there is the risk for Down syndrome, which increases with maternal age, a problem that was in the spotlight recently when 44-year-old Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, whose 5-month-old son Trig has the disorder, became the Republican nominee for vice president.
But "assuming they can get out of the first trimester without a miscarriage, most women can do fine," says Peaceman, who stresses that if women want to get pregnant later in life, it's important to protect fertility. That means quitting smoking, staying at a normal weight and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases.
The problems with later-in-life pregnancies are all too familiar to Terry Runyon, a 41-year-old banking executive from Chicago. Diagnosed with unexplained infertility in her mid-30s, Runyon underwent a series of assisted reproductive treatments. She got pregnant, but miscarried. Then she got pregnant again, and 17 weeks into the pregnancy, she lost one of the twins she was carrying. The surviving twin, Brandon, now 3, is healthy, happy and "completely the love of our lives," says Runyon.
And earlier this year, Runyon got a surprise. She's pregnant and due this October. "Everyone said I was infertile—and then I get pregnant just by having sex with my husband," she says. "I'm astounded."
She admits that the fears of the pregnancy problems like those she experienced in the past made her first trimester difficult. "I know what can go wrong, and I was petrified," she says. "But at the end of the day, I can only change certain things. I can't change the fact that I'm older, but I can take the best care of myself as possible."
That's what Sandy Robertson did. When she was in her late 30s, Robertson, a part-time teacher, went through numerous medical treatments, including fertility drugs, insemination and in vitro fertilization. She did get pregnant with IVF, but miscarried due to an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of one of her fallopian tubes. Robertson quit using medical assists. Her doctors told her she would probably never get pregnant again.
She refused to accept what they said. She started taking better care of herself by improving her diet and reducing stress with meditation and visualization. Despite the odds, she did get pregnant several times in her early 40s. But the pregnancies ended in miscarriage. At age 44, Robertson got pregnant again. This time she carried to term, and she is now the proud mom of 5-year-old Patricia.
But the pregnancy wasn't easy. "Every doctor I saw put me through every test possible," she says. "But all the doctors could find was that I was a 44-year-old woman with one fallopian tube who just happened to be healthy and pregnant."
With celebrity magazines chock full of photos of famous over-40 moms, it's easy to forget that women like Robertson are the exception, not the rule. Reproduction has its own timetable, doctors caution. "It's not our place to tell women forget your education and career and go have babies," says Dr. Tommaso Falcone, professor and chairman of the Department of Obstetrics-Gynecology at the Cleveland Clinic. "But it's irresponsible to not share information. And it's clear that it's harder to have a child at 40. No one should get pregnant until they are ready to be pregnant, but women need to make reproductive decisions based on facts."
Those facts can't take the glow off successful late-in-life moms. "I said numerous times that I should have had kids earlier," says Villa, who was monitored closely during her pregnancy and was on bedrest for several weeks due to complications. "It can be a rough ride when you're older. I am probably in the worst shape of my life. But I'm also the happiest. I was ready to be a mom." Which is the best reason to get pregnant—regardless of age.
Find this article at
http://www.newsweek.com/id/158410
© 2008
Modern Maternity
More women are having kids after 40, but whether they did it with medical help or not, the road to motherhood can be rough.
By Joan Raymond | Newsweek Web Exclusive
Sep 15, 2008 | Updated: 10:20 a.m. ET Sep 14, 2008
Jennie Villa wanted to have it all. A great education and career. Financial security. A loving husband. And kids. For Villa, the dream came true, albeit a little later than she would have liked. At age 37, she met that man of her dreams. Three years later they got married. This past August, at age 41, Villa, of Cleveland, gave birth to fraternal twins: a son, Quinn, and daughter Kendall. Her life, she says, is "pretty perfect." And when it comes to her kids, she is over the moon. "I think they're a miracle," says Villa, who got pregnant the old-fashioned way, without the use of assisted reproductive technologies.
Any woman who has had a child after age 40 can understand Villa's hyperbole. That's because, statistically speaking, the chances of having a successful pregnancy at what doctors call an "advanced maternal age" are fairly dismal. By about age 40, a woman's chance of getting pregnant naturally is only about 5 percent in any given month (down from about 20 percent at age 30). The use of assisted reproductive technologies ups the odds—but not as much as it could if a woman were younger. By age 45, a woman's chance of getting pregnant with her own eggs is virtually zero.
Still, some women are defying those odds. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the number of mothers giving birth at age 40 or older has doubled in the last several decades, partly due to medical assists like in vitro fertilization or the use of donor eggs.
The reasons women become first-time moms or add to the brood later in life are as varied as the women themselves. There are career goals to meet. And bank accounts to grow. Some women waited for marriage. Some never married at all. There are second marriages. And even surprise births.
For those who wait, getting pregnant is a roll of the dice even with the help of science. "Not every egg over age 40 is created the same," says Dr. Karen Ashby, assistant professor of reproductive biology at University Hospitals Case Medical Center. "Some healthy women will get pregnant without a problem, other women simply won't."
It's clear that even as medical interventions are helping more older women get pregnant, science can't keep up with the increase in the number of women who delay childbearing and then find themselves battling the clock. For every high-profile midlife mom like actress Marcia Cross or Nicole Kidman, there are lots of women who can't get pregnant. The total number of women age 40 to 44 who don't have kids at all is about 20 percent—double what it was 30 years ago, according to a census report released in August.
There's no breakdown of how many of the childless women in that age group chose not to have kids and how many didn't have them because of fertility issues or other circumstances. But choice seems to be the operative word when it comes to how women feel about the lack of children. Women without children who believed it was better to have a child were more likely to report being lonely and depressed in their later years than women who said it didn't make a difference, says Tanya Koropeckyj-Cox, associate professor of sociology at the University of Florida, author of a 2003 study that analyzed data from a survey of more than 3,800 men and women about relationships and family life.
Those women who do get pregnant after 40 may face a laundry list of age-related medical issues. "When you're older you tend to acquire diseases" such as high blood pressure and diabetes, both of which can affect pregnancies, says Dr. Alan Peaceman, chief of the division of maternal fetal medicine at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and professor of obstetrics-gynecology at Northwestern's Feinberg School of Medicine.
And simply being older and pregnant carries a much greater risk of miscarriage. Babies of older moms aren't immune to problems, either. They may be born too small or have underdeveloped lungs. And there is the risk for Down syndrome, which increases with maternal age, a problem that was in the spotlight recently when 44-year-old Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, whose 5-month-old son Trig has the disorder, became the Republican nominee for vice president.
But "assuming they can get out of the first trimester without a miscarriage, most women can do fine," says Peaceman, who stresses that if women want to get pregnant later in life, it's important to protect fertility. That means quitting smoking, staying at a normal weight and avoiding sexually transmitted diseases.
The problems with later-in-life pregnancies are all too familiar to Terry Runyon, a 41-year-old banking executive from Chicago. Diagnosed with unexplained infertility in her mid-30s, Runyon underwent a series of assisted reproductive treatments. She got pregnant, but miscarried. Then she got pregnant again, and 17 weeks into the pregnancy, she lost one of the twins she was carrying. The surviving twin, Brandon, now 3, is healthy, happy and "completely the love of our lives," says Runyon.
And earlier this year, Runyon got a surprise. She's pregnant and due this October. "Everyone said I was infertile—and then I get pregnant just by having sex with my husband," she says. "I'm astounded."
She admits that the fears of the pregnancy problems like those she experienced in the past made her first trimester difficult. "I know what can go wrong, and I was petrified," she says. "But at the end of the day, I can only change certain things. I can't change the fact that I'm older, but I can take the best care of myself as possible."
That's what Sandy Robertson did. When she was in her late 30s, Robertson, a part-time teacher, went through numerous medical treatments, including fertility drugs, insemination and in vitro fertilization. She did get pregnant with IVF, but miscarried due to an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of one of her fallopian tubes. Robertson quit using medical assists. Her doctors told her she would probably never get pregnant again.
She refused to accept what they said. She started taking better care of herself by improving her diet and reducing stress with meditation and visualization. Despite the odds, she did get pregnant several times in her early 40s. But the pregnancies ended in miscarriage. At age 44, Robertson got pregnant again. This time she carried to term, and she is now the proud mom of 5-year-old Patricia.
But the pregnancy wasn't easy. "Every doctor I saw put me through every test possible," she says. "But all the doctors could find was that I was a 44-year-old woman with one fallopian tube who just happened to be healthy and pregnant."
With celebrity magazines chock full of photos of famous over-40 moms, it's easy to forget that women like Robertson are the exception, not the rule. Reproduction has its own timetable, doctors caution. "It's not our place to tell women forget your education and career and go have babies," says Dr. Tommaso Falcone, professor and chairman of the Department of Obstetrics-Gynecology at the Cleveland Clinic. "But it's irresponsible to not share information. And it's clear that it's harder to have a child at 40. No one should get pregnant until they are ready to be pregnant, but women need to make reproductive decisions based on facts."
Those facts can't take the glow off successful late-in-life moms. "I said numerous times that I should have had kids earlier," says Villa, who was monitored closely during her pregnancy and was on bedrest for several weeks due to complications. "It can be a rough ride when you're older. I am probably in the worst shape of my life. But I'm also the happiest. I was ready to be a mom." Which is the best reason to get pregnant—regardless of age.
Find this article at
http://www.newsweek.com/id/158410
© 2008
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