The secret to a happy marriage for men is choosing a wife who is smarter and at least five years younger than you, say UK experts.
These pairings are more likely to go the distance, particularly if neither has been divorced in the past, according to the Bath University team.
The findings predict a happy future for pop star Beyonce Knowles, 28, and rapper husband Jay-Z, 39.
The work is published in the European Journal of Operational Research.
The researchers studied interviews of more than 1,500 couples who were married or in a serious relationship.
Five years later, they followed up 1,000 of the couples to see which had lasted.
For better or worse
They found that if the wife was five or more years older than her husband, they were more than three times as likely to divorce than if they were the same age. HAVE YOUR SAY Not so long ago the husband had to be older than his wife in order to be able to support a family, but such criteria are not so relevant now women have been educated to be able to command good jobs, so I suggest the basis for a successful marriage should be tolerance Marion Monahan, Bristol
If the age gap is reversed, and the man is older than the woman, the odds of marital bliss are higher.
Add in a better education for the woman - Beyonce has her high school diploma, unlike husband Jay-Z - and the chances of lasting happiness improve further.
Those who have never divorced fare better too. But couples in which one member has been through a divorce in the past are less stable than those in which both members are divorcees.
Dr Emmanuel Fragniere and colleagues do say that men and women choose partners "on the basis of love, physical attraction, similarity of taste, beliefs and attitudes, and shared values."
But they say that using "objective factors" such as age, education and cultural origin "may help reduce divorce".
Story from BBC NEWS:http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/health/8325579.stmPublished: 2009/10/26 10:09:07 GMT© BBC MMIX
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Egypt's sexual harassment 'cancer'
By Magdi Abdelhadi BBC News, Cairo
Sexual harassment of women in Egypt is on the increase and observing Islamic dress code is no deterrent, according to a survey published this week.
The Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights (ECWR) describes the problem as a social cancer and calls on the government to introduce legislation to curb it.
The findings contradict the widely held belief in Egypt that unveiled women are more likely to suffer harassment than veiled ones.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN EGYPT
Experienced by 98% of foreign women visitors
Experienced by 83% of Egyptian women
62% of Egyptian men admitted harassing women
53% of Egyptian men blame women for 'bringing it on' Source: Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights
Participants in the survey were shown pictures of women wearing different kinds of dress - from the mini skirt to the niqab (full face veil) and asked which were more likely to be harassed.
More than 60% - including female respondents - suggested the scantily clad woman was most at risk. But in reality the study concluded the majority of the victims of harassment were modestly dressed women wearing Islamic headscarves.
ECWR head Nihad Abu El-Qoumsan said that even veiled women who were victims of harassment blamed themselves.
Western women who took part in the study demonstrated a strong belief in their entitlement to personal safety and freedom of movement, she says, but this was totally absent among Egyptian respondents.
No-one spoke about freedom of choice, freedom of movement or the right to legal protection. No-one showed any awareness that the harasser was a criminal, regardless of what clothes the victim was wearing.
Shocking attitude
The centre is campaigning for a new law that clearly defines sexual harassment as a crime and makes it easier for women to report it in Egypt - women like Noha Ostath.
The young film-maker told the BBC she was repeatedly groped in broad daylight by a van driver in a Cairo traffic jam as she walked on the pavement.
His behaviour made her so angry she ran after the van and held on to the side mirror to force the driver to stop so she could take him to a police station.
She was equally shocked by the attitude of other passers-by. Some tried to dissuade her from going to the police - others blamed her for what she was wearing (a baggy sports outfit).
In the end, after a tussle with the man that lasted for more than one hour, the strong-willed Ms Ostath dragged the man to the police station.
But even there, police officers refused to open an investigation and insisted on the presence of her father despite the fact that she is not a minor - she is 26.
Impudent allegation
After Noha's story was published in the Badeel daily, editor-in-chief Muhammad El Sayyed Said wrote that the behaviour of the crowd was characteristic of oppressed societies, where the majority identified with the oppressor.
He blamed the increase in sexual harassment on what he said were "three decades of incitement against women" from the pulpits of some of Egypt's mosques.
"This verbal incitement is based on the extremely sordid and impudent allegation that our women are not modestly dressed. This was, and still is, a flagrant lie, used to justify violence against women in the name of religion."
The British foreign office says Egypt is one of the countries with the highest number of cases reported to embassy staff regarding sexual offences against visiting women.
It warns them to be extra cautious in public places especially when alone because of the risks.
Ms Abou El-Qoumsan says Egyptians need to re-evaluate their value system and school curricula and to ensure that the rule of law prevails and prevents offenders and criminals walking free because of a breakdown of basic notions of right and wrong.
Thanks to surveys like this, one encounters an endless number of newspaper articles reflecting the feeling that Egypt is in the grip of a moral crisis.
Perhaps nothing illustrates Egypt's loss of a moral compass than the responses of some men in the ECWR study.
Some said they harassed a woman simply because they were bored. One who abused a woman wearing the niqab said she must be beautiful, or hiding something.
Sexual harassment of women in Egypt is on the increase and observing Islamic dress code is no deterrent, according to a survey published this week.
The Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights (ECWR) describes the problem as a social cancer and calls on the government to introduce legislation to curb it.
The findings contradict the widely held belief in Egypt that unveiled women are more likely to suffer harassment than veiled ones.
SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN EGYPT
Experienced by 98% of foreign women visitors
Experienced by 83% of Egyptian women
62% of Egyptian men admitted harassing women
53% of Egyptian men blame women for 'bringing it on' Source: Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights
Participants in the survey were shown pictures of women wearing different kinds of dress - from the mini skirt to the niqab (full face veil) and asked which were more likely to be harassed.
More than 60% - including female respondents - suggested the scantily clad woman was most at risk. But in reality the study concluded the majority of the victims of harassment were modestly dressed women wearing Islamic headscarves.
ECWR head Nihad Abu El-Qoumsan said that even veiled women who were victims of harassment blamed themselves.
Western women who took part in the study demonstrated a strong belief in their entitlement to personal safety and freedom of movement, she says, but this was totally absent among Egyptian respondents.
No-one spoke about freedom of choice, freedom of movement or the right to legal protection. No-one showed any awareness that the harasser was a criminal, regardless of what clothes the victim was wearing.
Shocking attitude
The centre is campaigning for a new law that clearly defines sexual harassment as a crime and makes it easier for women to report it in Egypt - women like Noha Ostath.
The young film-maker told the BBC she was repeatedly groped in broad daylight by a van driver in a Cairo traffic jam as she walked on the pavement.
His behaviour made her so angry she ran after the van and held on to the side mirror to force the driver to stop so she could take him to a police station.
She was equally shocked by the attitude of other passers-by. Some tried to dissuade her from going to the police - others blamed her for what she was wearing (a baggy sports outfit).
In the end, after a tussle with the man that lasted for more than one hour, the strong-willed Ms Ostath dragged the man to the police station.
But even there, police officers refused to open an investigation and insisted on the presence of her father despite the fact that she is not a minor - she is 26.
Impudent allegation
After Noha's story was published in the Badeel daily, editor-in-chief Muhammad El Sayyed Said wrote that the behaviour of the crowd was characteristic of oppressed societies, where the majority identified with the oppressor.
He blamed the increase in sexual harassment on what he said were "three decades of incitement against women" from the pulpits of some of Egypt's mosques.
"This verbal incitement is based on the extremely sordid and impudent allegation that our women are not modestly dressed. This was, and still is, a flagrant lie, used to justify violence against women in the name of religion."
The British foreign office says Egypt is one of the countries with the highest number of cases reported to embassy staff regarding sexual offences against visiting women.
It warns them to be extra cautious in public places especially when alone because of the risks.
Ms Abou El-Qoumsan says Egyptians need to re-evaluate their value system and school curricula and to ensure that the rule of law prevails and prevents offenders and criminals walking free because of a breakdown of basic notions of right and wrong.
Thanks to surveys like this, one encounters an endless number of newspaper articles reflecting the feeling that Egypt is in the grip of a moral crisis.
Perhaps nothing illustrates Egypt's loss of a moral compass than the responses of some men in the ECWR study.
Some said they harassed a woman simply because they were bored. One who abused a woman wearing the niqab said she must be beautiful, or hiding something.
Gadget to help women feign virginity angers many in Egypt
Conservatives condemn the Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit as technology that will promote promiscuity. Others say the furor over the device raises disturbing questions about double standards.
By Jeffrey Fleishman and Amro Hassan
October 7, 2009
Reporting from Cairo
Whether it's seen as a clever little gadget to help a woman keep a secret or a devilish deception that threatens Islam, the Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit is not welcome in Egypt.The kit allows a bride who is not a virgin to pretend that she is. A pouch inserted into the vagina on her wedding night ruptures and leaks a blood-like liquid designed to trick a new husband into believing that his wife is chaste. It's a wink of ingenuity to soothe a man's ego and keep the dowry intact.Egyptian conservatives condemn the device as technology that will promote promiscuity in a culture that forbids premarital sex. Their protests are arising in a nation that over the last 40 years has gone from miniskirts and secularism to hijabs and religious devotion. But seldom have conservatives faced such brazen advertising."No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back any time," states the website of Gigimo, a Chinese mail-order company that sells the kit and other sexual products, including sex dolls and bondage toys, worldwide. "Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable."Members of the Muslim Brotherhood, which controls 20% of the seats in Egypt's parliament, have called for banning the kit and arresting anyone selling it on the black market. Cleric Abdul Moeti Bayoumi has issued a fatwa urging that peddlers of the $29.90 device be charged with banditry and punished for spreading immorality and sin."Egyptian girls are normally afraid to lose their virginity before marriage," Sayed Askar, a lawmaker and member of the Muslim Brotherhood, recently told parliament. "A product like that can make it easier and tempting for girls who don't have strong wills to commit such a sin. It will be a crying shame and a blot on the government if they allow the selling of this product in our markets."Lina Samaan, an accountant, said the furor raises disturbing questions about her country and the double standards that often apply to women:"I think it's a shame that we are discussing a product like this. If most girls don't have sex prior to marriage only because they want to keep virginity, then there is something wrong with the way we think," she said. "Sex is a right for every woman but unfortunately we started turning to products like these because men -- even non-religious ones who have sex before marriage -- wouldn't marry a girl if she's not virgin."The emotion over the kit speaks to a traditional society that is increasingly pious, whether it's rich professionals seeking moderate Islam on websites of progressive imams or poor and middle-class families adopting strict religion as a buttress to the influence of Western media and a loss of confidence in a state that has failed to provide prosperity.The government of President Hosni Mubarak is troubled by ultraconservative Islam imported from Saudi Arabia and the Persian Gulf. Egypt's leading Muslim cleric, Mohammed Sayed Tantawi, is considering forbidding the niqab, or face veil, at the university and schools run by Al Azhar, Sunni Islam's top educational institution. A similar edict barring nurses from wearing niqabs has been loosely enforced.The Egyptian media quoted Tantawi telling a student that the "niqab has nothing to do with Islam. . . . I know about religion better than you and your parents."Many parents, however, did not grow up with the economic and social problems that their children face. Single women have traditionally lived with their families until they found a husband. But today's inflation, joblessness and poverty are forcing many couples to delay marriage until money is saved and dowries are accumulated. With men and women single longer, dating, breakups and natural impulses challenge religion and tradition."Having something like the virginity kit can cause complete mayhem within the Egyptian social life," said Farid Ismael, a member of parliament's health committee. "It can lead to the spreading of vice and the loss of all the good morals and values we had and that totally contradicts with our Islamic beliefs."The kit -- like surgical repairs to the hymen that Middle Eastern women have relied upon for years -- is marketed to offer a sleight of hand. Such secrets keep prospective brides in the graces of their families and avoid what in rare cases are honor killings of women accused of promiscuity.Choosing to have "sex or not is something every girl and woman should decide regardless of the society's perspective toward her," said Samaan, the accountant. "Even if she is religious then she shouldn't do it because of her religious belief and not in fear of other people or fear that she will not get married if she's not a virgin.""If a girl decided to have sex before marriage," she added, "then God already knows it and she shouldn't hide it from anyone else."jeffrey.fleishman@latimes.comHassan is a special correspondent.
Copyright © 2009, The Los Angeles Times
By Jeffrey Fleishman and Amro Hassan
October 7, 2009
Reporting from Cairo
Whether it's seen as a clever little gadget to help a woman keep a secret or a devilish deception that threatens Islam, the Artificial Virginity Hymen Kit is not welcome in Egypt.The kit allows a bride who is not a virgin to pretend that she is. A pouch inserted into the vagina on her wedding night ruptures and leaks a blood-like liquid designed to trick a new husband into believing that his wife is chaste. It's a wink of ingenuity to soothe a man's ego and keep the dowry intact.Egyptian conservatives condemn the device as technology that will promote promiscuity in a culture that forbids premarital sex. Their protests are arising in a nation that over the last 40 years has gone from miniskirts and secularism to hijabs and religious devotion. But seldom have conservatives faced such brazen advertising."No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back any time," states the website of Gigimo, a Chinese mail-order company that sells the kit and other sexual products, including sex dolls and bondage toys, worldwide. "Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable."Members of the Muslim Brotherhood, which controls 20% of the seats in Egypt's parliament, have called for banning the kit and arresting anyone selling it on the black market. Cleric Abdul Moeti Bayoumi has issued a fatwa urging that peddlers of the $29.90 device be charged with banditry and punished for spreading immorality and sin."Egyptian girls are normally afraid to lose their virginity before marriage," Sayed Askar, a lawmaker and member of the Muslim Brotherhood, recently told parliament. "A product like that can make it easier and tempting for girls who don't have strong wills to commit such a sin. It will be a crying shame and a blot on the government if they allow the selling of this product in our markets."Lina Samaan, an accountant, said the furor raises disturbing questions about her country and the double standards that often apply to women:"I think it's a shame that we are discussing a product like this. If most girls don't have sex prior to marriage only because they want to keep virginity, then there is something wrong with the way we think," she said. "Sex is a right for every woman but unfortunately we started turning to products like these because men -- even non-religious ones who have sex before marriage -- wouldn't marry a girl if she's not virgin."The emotion over the kit speaks to a traditional society that is increasingly pious, whether it's rich professionals seeking moderate Islam on websites of progressive imams or poor and middle-class families adopting strict religion as a buttress to the influence of Western media and a loss of confidence in a state that has failed to provide prosperity.The government of President Hosni Mubarak is troubled by ultraconservative Islam imported from Saudi Arabia and the Persian Gulf. Egypt's leading Muslim cleric, Mohammed Sayed Tantawi, is considering forbidding the niqab, or face veil, at the university and schools run by Al Azhar, Sunni Islam's top educational institution. A similar edict barring nurses from wearing niqabs has been loosely enforced.The Egyptian media quoted Tantawi telling a student that the "niqab has nothing to do with Islam. . . . I know about religion better than you and your parents."Many parents, however, did not grow up with the economic and social problems that their children face. Single women have traditionally lived with their families until they found a husband. But today's inflation, joblessness and poverty are forcing many couples to delay marriage until money is saved and dowries are accumulated. With men and women single longer, dating, breakups and natural impulses challenge religion and tradition."Having something like the virginity kit can cause complete mayhem within the Egyptian social life," said Farid Ismael, a member of parliament's health committee. "It can lead to the spreading of vice and the loss of all the good morals and values we had and that totally contradicts with our Islamic beliefs."The kit -- like surgical repairs to the hymen that Middle Eastern women have relied upon for years -- is marketed to offer a sleight of hand. Such secrets keep prospective brides in the graces of their families and avoid what in rare cases are honor killings of women accused of promiscuity.Choosing to have "sex or not is something every girl and woman should decide regardless of the society's perspective toward her," said Samaan, the accountant. "Even if she is religious then she shouldn't do it because of her religious belief and not in fear of other people or fear that she will not get married if she's not a virgin.""If a girl decided to have sex before marriage," she added, "then God already knows it and she shouldn't hide it from anyone else."jeffrey.fleishman@latimes.comHassan is a special correspondent.
Copyright © 2009, The Los Angeles Times
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